Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for long, long years
Stole many a man's soul and faith
I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
What's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game

I hung around St. Petersburg
Till I found it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
Rode a tank
Held a general's rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank, Oh!
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name,
What's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game,

I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
I shouted out,
"Who killed the Kennedys?"
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
Have been around for long, long years
Laid many a man's soul to waste
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name
What's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game

So if you meet me
Show some courtesy
Some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, YEAH!
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name
What's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game.